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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist Member Kassc Alvarez NoeggerathMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
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Kassc Alvarez Noeggerath
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United States
:iconrequestsopen: :icontradesopen: :iconcollabsopen: :iconcommissionsopen:
Don't be shy!... I'll draw for you with joy, but of course... keep it PG-13 :J
What can I say?... I like MLP:FIM... So I draw it... sorta xD

Want a pro tip?:……
I dont know what to think or what to do now... I done my best for the right intentions. I never ever desired to hurt others and all my actions have been for the best, based on my knowledge...
I find my self broken beyond understanding... I find it even more surprising how the mental doctors... (physiatrist, counselors, Therapist...)  cant figure out whats wrong with me?.
I find my self running in loops and some how getting hurt more by every passing day!... I have learned quite a large amount of stuff of my self... but that had made my case even worst!...
I cant adapt?... I cant fit?... I cant relate?... I cant belong?... I keep hearing this... the way you are is what makes you push people away?!... Then what the buck I'm I suppose to be, if being my self pushes people away?!. What kind of disturbance or illness do I have that make the people I care to stay away from me!?... why do I push them away by my way of being?!
I cant understand my self!... I cry, cry, cry till I pass out on my bed... such a deep feeling of loneliness and regrets. I find my self going deeper deeper in that black chasm... worst of all. the 'doctors' cant understand my situation!?... I can hear them stuttering, second guessing and looking at me with confused/worried eyes!. W-what is what you see in me!?... I am not a monster... I want to be loved... I want to belong somewhere... I just cant find my self at all, and nobody else seems to understand and most cases be patient enough to care... my heart races.. my brain pounds.. while a searing barbed wire runs throw my insides... slicing and tearing my flesh from the inside...
But even after all the pain... after all the suffering... after all the sorrow... after all the loneliness... I can still see the bright blue sky and a huge bright sun!~. I am... alive!.
But for how long?... Or m I even alive?. Deep sulking emptiness is always hunting... feel like a husk. with or with out pills... I keep debating to my self... m I even worth living?... Why m I still alive?...
What kind of survival test I got in to... I just cant feel empathy from others... I cant feel their appreciation... I just dont feel appreciated... All what I have done in this 20 years of life... it all feels so useless and unworthy... I see so many people with smiles... laughs... family... friends... They all have 'some one'. But what about myself?... how... did I ended so alone... How easy is to end your life... human body is sooooo sensitive... so many easy ways to die... you can die from not washing your hands after eating... A bubble of oxygen its all what you need to stop your heart from beating... (thats if you inject air to an artery...). Simple as jumping from a high place... or get killed by a wild animal... so many easy ways to die... but why m I putting up to all this!?... why m I keeping my self alive so hard!... I put so much effort and dedication to push on to the next and next day!... for what?!... I been complaining about this feelings for sooooooo long... since I was 17... 3 years of constant sorrow, regrets, pain, loneliness... Why m I putting throw all this so bad... I just look up to the sky... Staring at the sun with a fake hurtful smile... what will I give to be that incandescently happy... that warmth... that light safeness... that seer energy...
Some times... I just wish I could end it all... some times... I wish I could change my past... Some time... I wish I could forget the painful thoughts...
But. I can consider this as a fact... I am a living PaRadOx...
a Paradox...


Kassc has started a donation pool!
850 / 500
Why not!
Feel free to give me some tip's!
While I keep drawing as always :D

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Deviant
    Donated Nov 5, 2014, 6:39:02 PM
  • :icondeffmobile:
    Donated Dec 31, 2013, 6:45:26 PM

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Kassc Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
ERLsregards Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014
thanks for the favorite!
Wolvan1 Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2014
Glad seeing you being back! Welcome back man!
chris9801 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
Happy Birthday! ᵔ.ᵔ…
DJ-Xyclone Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014  Student Writer
Happy Birthday!!!
tg-0 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014   General Artist
Thanks =)
Kassc Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
tg-0 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014   General Artist
Try to recall.
Kassc Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I know who you are!~... I just wonder why you said thanks xD
(1 Reply)
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