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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist Member Kassc Alvarez NoeggerathMale/United States Recent Activity
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Kassc
Kassc Alvarez Noeggerath
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United States
!Tumblr!
Sol-Valley.tumblr.com/
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!Chat!
irc.lc/canternet/lunasloftooc,…
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:iconrequestsopen: :icontradesopen: :iconcollabsopen: :iconcommissionsopen:
Don't be shy!... I'll draw for you with joy, but of course... keep it PG-13 :J
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What can I say?... I like MLP:FIM... So I draw it... sorta xD

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zenpencils.com/comic/90-ira-gl…
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Interests
Well... I am finally back!~... I... I know I said it was suppose to last 2 months. but... I back for the sad reasons... maybe a deployment or (MULE) was just to much for me to handle?... I already had personal issues so maybe a deployment was the worst option on the condition I was on... I'm gonna start art dumping a lot... so dont expect a lots of good stuff as i seemed to had fallen on "Dysthymia Depression"... more like I been in it for the last 3 years? xD. But depression or not. Time will flow so I need to pick up and phase along with it!... hope for the best~...

For the ones that are... interested on... how why when where?... bla bla bla...

Well... 

  • Short story...

3 weeks of no sleep causes dementia. Medivac from the deployment and set back on pendleton for normal duties.

  • Long story... 
I was on a MULE on the USS America... its a half size of a carrier ship. And... I had the night hour shift. working 16 hours every day over night. from 7 pm till 10 or 11 am. for 3 weeks... I had no sleep... barely any sleep cause of sea sickness and noisy day activities from Marines... slowly drifted to insanity from the lack of sleep... Addition from being stripped from friend support and along with no internet, games and... well... I began to feel claustrophobic from the lack of space within the ship... my room was no bigger than half a bunk bed... no where to have fresh air or to vent... constant work and attempt to sleep to get ready to work... I run to the edgy of the ship... my mind was razing and thoughts of jumping out of the ship pop out... "I am not even safe outside..." I simply push my self away from the bars and sit against the bulkhead... and sob... sob... cry... whine... sob... I think I was on for like an hour... Then somebody finally finds me... Out of nowhere I had 5 people up front bursting me with questions questions questions... all the same obvious one. Are you doing ok?... (DO I LOOK OK!?... MY AM TASTING MY OWN TEARS!) But my voice was mute and my expression was frozen... my body was on shock... not until a trigger word zaps my brain... "You are not good enough to be a Marine" my eye twitches... my throat chokes and my insides twist... I try to run away but they yell my name "ALVAREZ" I froze in spot... my 2 year of repetitive training on standing on attention when you get yelled at activate. So I stand on attention... "Are you ok?..." twitch again and try to run away... my name gets yelled again... I felt like a machine malfunctioning and spazzing on each command received... not long before they finally say... "Williams... go with him..." finally manage to run away to an other edge of the ship... and sob... whine.. wheeze for 30 minutes.... 'Williams starts his 21 question to find out whats wrong with me and... I get a sudden burst of energy... I look up to the night cold sky and yell top of my lungs... a very long long phrase that y final words where nothing more than wheezing noises and squeaking notes as my throat could not handle my anger.... finally look down and... I felt nothing... I felt like a husk. dead pan on the ground... 'Williams' gives me... some sort of motivational speak and tells me to go in the ship cause... it was cold... I dont remember being cold at all... or wet... but I remember he giving me a command... 'go to sleep'. I remember being awaken around 5 am... I was wet and cold... my face still slick from my tears... go clean my face and try to look decent to work. Show my face and I help around. Nobody gives me a comment... maybe one random back pat. I was just looking around as scared and nervous. trying to be as helpful as I could. an hour passes and one of my staff NCO's guides to medical... I get a conversation with one concealer... Give my speech... he looks around oblivious and I get sent to an other concealer. and the process repeats till I hit the fifth! concealer. each one giving me different. COMPLETELY different perspectives on why the military cares about me?!... Tha da fuk no!... not till the last one... "This my job... to care for other Marines. I don care if others do not. cause they dont. but I am here to make you laugh" I look at him oddly as... he was... Just... I was already DONE on explaining my self... I stay quite but he keeps adding "Cmon.. talk to me. Cant help yourself like this" Take a deep breath and I spill the beans... slowly he works me out to get the full story... latter one he guides me to a more private area and... he enlightens me with realism as it is... sorry but I will keep that information to my self. but lets just say. that he made me laugh~...
After that... in less than 3 hours I was medivac to back to pendleton... took around 20 hours to make it back... with a jerk, smartass lieutenant sorting me... and once there. I walk with all the fears on my back... unsure what faith will bring me now... unsure of what they gonna do to me... unsure of what my command will do... unsure of my sanity... unsure of my self...
Once there... strip me naked and take every single thing away from me... and give me hospital clothes. ask me the 21 questions around roughly 4 times. making me feel even more unsure as I had to repeat my answers over and over... as what I said was my insanity... I was set there... 5 days with people of my own sanity?... people twitching on their beds, raging, banging and tossing stuff around, people sobbing and slamming on the walls. shouting to be alone, people with physical drastic wounds like scratching your skin off!... and. I'm I this insane?... the doctors and nurses treating me like I was dumb and naive?... strip from even using a bare pencil!?!... and the only thing to do inside that floor was to... sleep or think!...
Time passed by... the second day I felt better... way better!. After having a long... loooong sleep I regain some of my self worth. some of my honor. some of my sanity. I am not this crazy... I demanded for pencil and kept it. I drew and socialized with all this 'depressed, suicidal & homocide' people. and guess what... they are as sane as I... they are as sane as the doctors and nurses. they have voice, emotions, preferences and smiles. I made them all smile and laugh. we all together made a small group to hang out for the sake of our own joy. with out the help of the nurses or doctors. that place was unattended and left the 'patients' to heal for them selves... at the end... I got most of the patience numbers. at least the ones that where able enough to own a phone and use it... along with some skype contacts xP
Two of my cousins visits me... one that I hold dearly in my heart Kendall... and an other cousin that... just messed me alot when I was younger. nenny. We have a random conversations just for laughs... not long before Kendall asked me... "What really happen..." I sigh and I try to tell her a in deep version of it... she looks at me neglected and adds... "Cmon... I know you could done better..." I... looks at her nervously "But... 3 weeks with out sleep. It was driving me insane!..." she adds "I been sleep deprived before... its not even that bad" I add "FOR 3 WEEKS?!" she shakes her head and stays neglected... I say... "So... you are very much saying... that I was a bitch?" she looks at me at the eyes and adds... "Yes!... cmon!... you where at my house moopping too like if it was all of that bad!" I simply sigh and add "Maybe I am no that strong after all..." she looks away and adds "Yes, maybe you are not" I change the topic just to not dwell in that thought... and keep... laughing till she had to leave...
My first sergeant comes and visits me... around 6 or 7ish... he brings me KFC and I simply snicker for some reason... I guide him in and sit down to talk to him... offers me to eat but I add that... "I dont eat while talking with people" he nods as he understands and we talk... a serious talk. he had a rough day and sacrificed his own family time to come and see me... I smile nervously and simply try to use... my English word knowledge to... show how much I appreciate the food and his presence... the topic switch and ask me what happen to me... I repeat the story and add... "I already had some weights from being on pendleton... I tho being in a Deployment will help me forget about it. but it all escalated" he leans on my and stares me with those... serious killer eyes... (Seriously... I can see death in his eyes... he mentioned a few stories of his... deployments... he had lost marine brothers and kill bodies on Afghanistan...) "What problems?" I shudder and sigh and spill the beans... "well..." A lot of self rant on how NCO's treated me very poorly... he frowns and shakes his head "How can I fix something that I never knew it was broken..." I blink in fright as I felt like a broken gear in his system... "Why you never brought this up?..." I add "I tho thats how it is?... they did it to others... But I was never able to do it for sane sake!..." he sighs and adds "The USMC is like a family for me. I know I have one away from the military but this is. a. family. for. me" he mentions stories of his battles on brothers he lost on fire fights... I smile nervously and add... "I... I was in charge of 3 PFC's First sergeant... I remember how they treated me... how they picked on me cause I did not knew better and how they never really showed me how to 'be' better... but I promised to my self I wont let that happen to this three... I showed them how to iron their uniform, get their creases, bake beacon, fry burgers, polish their boots, align their chevrons... I made sure that they dont get the same faith than I... yes... they screw up a bit and there... but they where good enough to not be miserable. and... that made me feel right..." First sergeant smiles "I dont understand... why... why does the cycle repeat... they all love to make each other miserable. why?... are we all brothers... right?..." we two have a long conversation of lame NCO's and how we need more... Marines like... 'me' to brake this cycles. I felt.. great after that... he leaves and adds "See you soon Lance Corporal Alvarez" and steps off... I... (Funny thing... like.... half the patients in  the room where... drooling for my... KFC...) I open my box and... share my chicken for everyone to eat xP.
I get out and see at the blue sky like if it was new to me... I felt free~... for a few seconds... just to see me escorted by a Corporal and a Cormen. one upfront and one from behind... Its okay. I wont be in the USMC forever... right?.
Get pills and they drive me back to Pendleton... they dont even try to talk to me... I try to start a conversation but it ends as soon as I stop bringing topics to talk about... Makes me think within... back and sound... I get a speech with my 3 main "daddy's". First sergeant, Master sergeant and Chiff warn officer 3... They great me with the out most care and welcome. (even if inside my gut... I just feel that I wasted a lot of time to them for me being present there...) The ball rolls and on to a 2 day event on getting my personal stuff back and signing back in to my unit... Was hetic... but I manage to get all my gear back and be back on my room safely and cozily. Internet and everything...


Well... not much else to say... was a ride yes... but... I learned a thing or two of my self from... rising again.
Expect me more joyful as... Im gonna be taking pills :U
and... dunno... I do feel some motivation to pull on. if this medicine is giving me motivation... then I guess... I will be good with it?... well see...
 

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Comments


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:iconwolvan1:
Wolvan1 Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2014
Glad seeing you being back! Welcome back man!
Reply
:iconchris9801:
chris9801 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
Happy Birthday! ᵔ.ᵔ

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISbbjA…
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:icondj-xyclone:
DJ-Xyclone Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014  Student Writer
Happy Birthday!!!
Reply
:icontg-0:
tg-0 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014   General Artist
Thanks =)
Reply
:iconkassc:
Kassc Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
?
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:icontg-0:
tg-0 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014   General Artist
Try to recall.
Reply
:iconkassc:
Kassc Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I know who you are!~... I just wonder why you said thanks xD
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconhellothereguy:
hellothereguy Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014
Hey, do you roleplay?
Reply
:iconkassc:
Kassc Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Uuuhhh... yes and no.
Not on DA cause notes are annoying and well... Its DA. this place for art
But I do RP on other sites
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:iconhellothereguy:
hellothereguy Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014
Do you have Skype?
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