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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist Kassc Alvarez NoeggerathMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
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Kassc Alvarez Noeggerath
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United States
:iconrequestsopen: :icontradesopen: :iconcollabsopen: :iconcommissionsopen:
Don't be shy!... I'll draw for you with joy, but of course... keep it PG-13 :J
What can I say?... I like MLP:FIM... So I draw it... sorta xD

Want a pro tip?:……

*What is love if your heart is thorned apart, What is survival if your body wants to kill itself, What is joy if your blood is made of barbed wire.What is life when all your senses just perceive pain...
people are stupid at times.
remember this... people actions and words explain more about them self than their intentions.
Cause we all freaks in the standards of normality.
I am tired of people comments... speech and writing will never be accurate to define what we are or what everyone is. The only real closure I have manage to find is by doing it my  self.
then you have comments like "Kids can be cruel". everyone is Naive. most of the time we don't know the consequences we can cause nor that we care, then again there is no point of over thinking everything cause of accidentally sneezing in to the air will get a kid with leukemia, bronchitis... 
Shared pain is less pain, shared joy is more joy... Just take what is good and leave what is bad. The meaning of life for me is... experience, memories & bonds... A space rock might kill you tomorrow, might kill my mother, Might kill me; fuck. I just grew tired on attempting to fit on everyone else "Standards" of what is consider "Normal" so I can belong to a click, band... wathever. Ill become my own thing. and in time... I found people that love and respect what I am... isn't that what really matters in the end?. Maybe I am just ranting right now... but meeh... There is always some one who has it worst or better.

I wished to have cool friends and a girlfriend and just be accepted by my parents as well my brothers, and belong to a click or party. But none of that really brought me joy. even when I got in to smoking and drinking so I could hang out with those "friends" or "Brothers" I never got real joy out of it.
Getting good at soccer and doing clever comments to amaze girls and get them under my arm. Never really felt love for them or my self during that entire process. I ended up feeling depressed even if everyone kept telling me "You won first place on the soccer team", "you where the best at a math competition" "Oh wow... The hottest girl likes you" "You have 15 medals of Tae Kwon Do" "YOu are a Marine! and the best shooter in the whole battalion." "You left your home at 17 and made all this happen" And with this I can continue on... but non of it was something that I wanted. Just that I wanted to belong part of something.
That belonging never gave me joy, cause the fact that it was not me. It was a facade of my self that made this happen while the insides staid raw and slowly rotting away...
My family considers me the most successful member in it. But I feel no joy nor accomplishment out of it. Everything just feels cold and bold as from the start. I did help my family a lot in the... money section cause I don't even know what to do with the money that I have. Ended up screwing my self up just because I wanted to become that one star at something I never enjoyed doing.

And then we hit the part of my story that I don't like to talk about... cause I feel like a big jerk when I do...
In small scenarious... yes. I do feel some joy but no belonging... I noticed how much attention artist get when they draw some one else. and... that's what I did. Ended up drawing for others to get their attention and make friends in the process?... It all just ended up feeling cold and bold as anything else I have done... But... recently... I been feeling better and being doing smarter things about my self. But many of the people I met for friends are... mostly hollow strands of friendships where I hold no true meaning nor belonging towards them... Just the intent...
then falling again with studying and doing research on how to talk to people and get them in your favor as if you where this cool kid or something. did a lot of experimentation with different people that I met and... ended up hurting them or being cold in some parameters.
I did not knew English at all when I crossed the border. I knew how to write and read. Not to speak it. That was when I was 16?... 15?. I became to unfold my self in the internet and getting in different forums and chats and blogs... And so I started the quest of forcing friends in to my life... with no true belonging nor feelings for them.

And with this... I say.
don't force yourself in to clicks or groups. don't force yourself to be normal or to be part of something. it wont bring you joy.

And honestly, This is the part of life where I still feel with out a CutieMark.
you cant force it come nor you can speed things up. CutieMarks just happen. You have to be patient and simply do stuff that makes you happy or feel some type of joy.
Good times and Bad times will always be in the road of life. Be smart about it and learn how to drive better on each turn and bump. No point of stressing over stuff and even worst stretching the problems just to see the details... Proper planning and having friends/family around to help. bad times will pass and will bring enough space for good times...

And for now... I will let my sorrows, remorse's and pity fuel my anger for life. The fury within me that wants to bite the world down in to pieces... Cause my heart beats with boiling blood as my muscles flex in to barbed wires. I will continue to live and search for the joy I deserve, even if it means to end my own life, I will get what I deserve in realm of the living.
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: Avenged sevenfold
  • Playing: Crypt of the Necrodancer
  • Eating: ParadoX
  • Drinking: Enigmas


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Cause why not?~
Want to show me some love?. But have no other way but to give money or points?. by all means~.

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DJ-Xyclone Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015  Student Writer
Thanks for the fave!
DJ-Xyclone Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015  Student Writer
Thanks so much for the watch! It means a lot!
Kassc Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
oh wow~. That flatters me~
Well I have you to blame for having such good arts~ :p
DJ-Xyclone Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2015  Student Writer
Kassc Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Feel free to re-read the comment if you dont seem to understand.
But what I am saying its a fact and you are more than welcome to take it as granted n.n
(1 Reply)
tg-0 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2015   General Artist
Hey, happy new year =)
Kassc Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thankies!~. Happy new year~
tg-0 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2015   General Artist
Thank you :pat:
tg-0 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2015   General Artist
Thanks :pat:
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